Goal 9 - Keep Running

My body has grown two little people inside it. It's gone through hours upon hours of pain to bring these people into the world. It has fed them and housed them and ached with the strain of carrying their little bodies. My body has done pretty awesome things. Amazing and wonderful things. So why do I hate it?

I've always had image problems. I have pierced bits and covered bits in tattoos in an attempt to accept it but its always been an uphill battle. I look in a mirror (when I can't avoid doing it) and see a big bum, no boobs, flab and drab and a chin that makes me feel like Bruce Campbell or Jay Leno. I hate my nose. And my teeth. And my feet which are far too long and narrow. Get the picture?

So here I am after two babies and I'm feeling my absolute worse. It took me two years to get back to pre-baby weight the first time around. Literally, I weighed myself on Leo's 2nd birthday and was back to 70kg. This time I didn't put on as much as I did then but I'm still completely horrified at my shape these days... Which I shouldn't be. I HAD A BABY 7 WEEKS AGO! I'm allowed to have this body.

All around us are images of Victoria Secret models, Pop stars and other miscellaneous celebrities (Seriously, I still don't understand what the Karadashians have done to get where they are) who pop out their babies, give them a ridiculous moniker and next moment are prancing around in bikinis looking flawless. It can be bloody hard to accept the reality that these women aren't like us, they have a whole team of people to help them do this and realistically its going to take a whole lot longer for most of us to "bounce back" (Besides Jessica Simpson, who I want to high five for admitting her love of fried food and hate of the gym)

On my list I have a goal to get back to post baby weight. This goal is to motivate me - not to be a Victoria Secret model, that chin and those feet and teeth will still be there but to become a healthier mummy. I want to be able to look into a mirror and see those "flaws" and then look past them and be satisfied that I have done something to make my body, which I have put through so much, into the best body it can be. It is the only one I will ever have, it really deserves some love.

I am going to do something now that is really hard for me to do. I am going to be brutally honest and post a "before" photo and a scary number. A number that I am determined will not define me anymore.

With the support from my husband who loves my body regardless of bumps and stretch marks and of two munchkins who love me unconditionally no matter what I look like, I am starting a journey of self-acceptance and of finding a self esteem that has to be somewhere. I can do this. This is day one on the journey to Laura's yummy mummy bod!